As the tears come to my eyes,
I know,
I have lost.
That is the only time they form,
When the inevitable has happened.
When life finally becomes to much.
I put up these walls,
without even realizing it.
All the pain is stored behind them.
It builds and builds,
Until finally I crack.
I break down and cry.
I hate it.
I'm weak.
I'm not worthy to even be here,
If I can't deal with everyday life.
When I cry I am admitting defeat.
When I cry,
I acknowledge that I am a lost cause.
when I cry,
I know it is the end.
So I don't. No matter what,
No matter tha pain,
No matter the consequence.
Not matter the situation,
I do not cry.
I will not be weak,
I will not admit defeat.
I will continue to hold it all in,
It will be stored inside,
Until the damage that it is causing
Cannot be fixed.
Until I am a shell of the person I used to be.
Until then I will not cry.